Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I am letting my number 1 ministry "go".
I feel as a wife and mother my number one ministry is inside my household. I feel like before I can properly minister to others I have 4 other souls I am to minister to. I am counting my husband because I believe it is part my job to help cultivate his soul along with the children. But as of late I feel I am falling short. I have been a little lazy, bossy, and mean most of the time. I don't like it. I know my family doesn't like it and so I feel like I am letting that ministry "go!" I don't know what is wrong with me but I just can't seem to pull it together sometimes. I want to be so much more as their wife and mother but at the end of the day most of the time I just owe them a huge apology and find myself begging for a do over.
I feel so weak and alone most of the time. I think finding courage to do what I know I should do is hard for me sometimes. I also know that this ministry suffers for reasons I can't control. My strategy from here...Pray! My Papa will lead me through any trouble I have because He loves me so much and He only wants good things for me and my family. With His help we will be all He is calling us to be.