Monday, July 18, 2011

Under the microscope

Today I began the registration process for the home school covering we intend to use for our children this upcoming year. I am so excited to embark on this adventure that we feel God has called us to do and that we feel is necessary. But all my excitement is mashed when I remember all the criticism we seem to be facing right now. How is it that people can so easily pass judgment but no even ask us why we have chosen this route? Why do family members think they are entitled to an opinon on how we raise our children? And why do I feel like people lack confidence in my emotional ability to do this and do it well? Why oh why must people make me feel like a total parental screw up?!?!

I firmly believe in what we are doing. And I thought I was ready to combat any critics with my tough skin and well thought out answers. But as it draws near time for those final withdraw papers to be sent I found myself second guessing our decision all because of what people had to say about it and how what they were saying made me feel. The truth is (and if you know me you already know this) I put way too much stock in what others think of me both as a person and a mother. I wasn't raised to be this way but teen mom who married young just has a why of letting others make you think you aren't good enough. When the reality is that I am going to be doing just what God intended for me to do...Teach my children. From the very moment they are born and draw that first breath we are their teachers we are the ones to guide and mold them.

It is hard for me to block out all the negative things people are saying but Michael and I are willing to prove them all wrong. Our children are so excited. We can't even wait for the rest of our curriculum to come in and get started. I hate feeling like I am under the microscope but like my mother always said "The best revenge is success!"